The Four Types of Friends That We All Need And Why
“Friendship is the wine of life.” -Edward Young
Throughout life we meet and connect with many people. Friends come and go like the seasons do. Despite this, there are four friends that everyone needs in their circle.
Friend #1: The Truth-Teller
“I speak the truth” There are people who tell the truth and then there are others who simply mumble. This friend is honest, trustworthy, and sees things for what they are. To some, they come off rude, harsh, or even mean. However, once you get past the outer exterior of their heavy armor you will see their heart of gold shining through crystal clear. They have their own wounds, and have been lied to and have seen what it’s like when the truth is not present. They make it their mission and intention to tell the truth regardless of how it makes you feel. In time, we learn to appreciate these truth-tellers. They are often hated for what they say, shunned, and even killed. Like a sword cutting through flesh, they are the only ones able to get to the heart of the matter.
Take for example, Gandhi, Socrates, Martin Luther King Jr, Sojourner Truth, Ruth Badger Ginsburg, and Jesus himself. They all have been truth-tellers and seekers during their time on Earth. It is not easy being a truth-teller, but in our world full of lies and many other things: it is a necessary virtue.
Truth-tellers tell you that you are: living a lie, you are not honest with yourself, you are lazy, you need to change deodorants, you have something in your nose, that relationship isn’t healthy, you don’t know everything, you are responsible for you, your habits are holding you back, and the list goes on.
If you are fortunate to find a friend heavy on the truth and the truth only, keep them around. They are bound to do more good than bad, and will keep you accountable on your path to success.
You see the truth-tellers in various careers such as, communications, law, non-profits, research, government, leadership, and education. They are present, watchful, and most importantly: telling the truth.
Friend #2: The Adventurer
“I love to move, expand, and grow.” We all know someone who loves to travel and explore new places. However, a true adventurer doesn’t just travel, they have an adventure in all areas of their lives. They are risky, cunning, and always pushing you to go farther, feel deeper, and reach for the stars. They have a childlike fascination and can’t sit still for too long. These friends are nomads of life and in philosophy. They understand what happens when things become stagnate and don’t grow. Their mission and intention is to be fully present, to fully live, not just simply exist.
Take for example, Marco Polo, Neil Armstrong, Amelia Earhart, Bessie Coleman, Jeanne Baret, and Charles Darwin. All of these people have explored, pushed themselves, became resilient, and left us with inspiration for our own adventure.
They are the friends that nag you to go to a new destination, move to a new city, start that business, date the guy next door, buy the condo, read a new book, change your hair, listen to a new song, do something spontaneous, eat the last slice of cake, and so on.
If you are ever so fortunate to have a true adventurer in your clan, hold their hand and let them lead you down the road to the next great thing! Life will never be boring with an adventurer in the mix.
You find the adventurers in service fields, aviation, athletics, exploration, technology, business, science, travel, the creative fields, and medicine. They are active, courageous, helpful, and running their own race.
Friend #3: The Helper
“I understand, I empathize, I am here for you.” Some people have sympathy, and others have empathy. The counselor friends are both people. They have a strikingly good balance of understanding your emotions and knowing what to do with them. They help you move forward when you are stuck in your head or your heart. They always ask if you are okay, do you need anything, how are you feeling? They may come off to some as emotional, motherly, know it all, stuck up, too friendly, and even too helpful at times. The helpers have gone through many trials themselves and understand what it’s like to not be helped, understood, and protected. Their mission and intention is to lead, help, and leave the world better than they found it. The helpers understand the balance between our logical minds and emotional hearts and guide you to understanding that yourself. They are the helpers in the dark that light the way.
Take for example, Mother Teresa, JKF, Harriet Tubman, Marie Curie, Abraham Lincoln, and Nelson Mandela. They are all great examples of selflessness, courageousness, and what helping others truly looks like.
The helpers are friends who want what’s best for you, they will understand you like no one else will. They will help you make decisions, support you, walk with you, be a voice when you can’t speak, a listening ear, a kind hand, and a helpful heart.
You find the helpers in humanitarian efforts, volunteering, medicine, education, service-based careers, and leadership. They are calm, nurturing, logical, and can be found always lending a hand.
Friend #4: The Philosopher
“I see, I think, I feel, I am.” There are those who are of sound judgement and others who judge it all. The Philosophers are both. Lost in between being rational and slightly feeling everything we find our truth-seekers. They are the ones with morals, logic, and upholding the universal truths. These friends help us uncover our own light, fight back the darkness, and take hold of our lives. They teach us to keep fighting, keep searching, and keeping being. These friends are sacred, noble, and true teachers in spirit. Many people see them as the smart ones, the deeper thinkers, the fortune-tellers of thought. These friends can be too rational, too logical, too systematic, cold, and even distant. The Philosophers are judged for not doing enough, for being smart but non-active, for taking a backseat and not being in the front of the group. Their mission and intention is to serve, to teach, to question everything, reach new heights, and uncover mysteries. In doing so, they lead us to truths we may have never seen without their help. They are the mirrors that show us truth, hope, and grace.
Take for example, The Buddha, Confucius, Hypatia, Anne Conway, Maitreyi, and Tesla. These souls are a great example of a Philosopher. Someone who leads in morals, logic, truth, and spirit.
The Philosophers are friends who give out lessons like the breaths they breath, they challenge you to see things in a different light, they break the barriers that keep you stuck, they unlock parts of you never opened before, they make you question everything you have every thought. All the while embracing you like a parent would their offspring.
You find the Philosophers in Technology, Science, Mathematics, Education, Religion, Communications, and Philanthropy. They are clever, observant, lifelong learners, and always leaving us with a lesson, a gift, or a thought.
If you are really lucky, you may find these friends in one person. If so, keep them near you and learn from them. They were put into your life for more than one reason.
When it is all said and done, you want people around you that have your best interest in mind and in heart. This journey of life will be hard, difficult, taxing, but it can also be beautiful, inspiring, and fulfilling.
These four types of friends are Superheroes in disguises. Find them, seek them out, and allow them to teach you. Once you do, ask to join their team, and figure out too which type of friend you are.
You won’t regret it.
